Holding trust

Why is it that we trust people to stand with us in life family, friends and colleagues but when they say something about us that is actually helpful and constructive we react and punish them or break our connection with them? We take offence to what someone says without thinking, that person can’t give you offence only you can take it, you have a choice every time how you react and respond.

Two things I want to touch on, one is trust can’t actually be earned...It is given. It is your choice when you give someone your trust. So after a conflict of ideas/interest why don’t we give our trust back to the person, or why do we take it away in the first place? For protection, we are afraid of what people can do or say to us in our lives. We are afraid of the influence someone may have over us.

Have you ever done something to someone that means you lose their trust? How did you get it back? You worked for it, but when was the moment you changed and/or when did they really know you had changed or done enough to earn their trust again?

Let’s face it when someone changes they were something one minute and something completely different the next minute...So who are we (someone external from them) to say when that moment of change was in someone’s life..? The criticism or difference of opinion that offended you and them could have been the last moment till they changed, or until you changed, so why should we react and retract our love, trust and friendship? Why wouldn’t you be willing to let them back on to your sphere of influence?

Broken trust, broken hearts and broken emotions can only be fixed by the art of selfless communication and brave responsibility. We have to be able to communicate to and with people who don’t always agree with us and maybe even upset or hurt us. In order to do this we need to have our own thoughts in line but more importantly we need to be in control of our own emotions. Too many decisions and conflicts have arisen because people have reacted to someone else’s thoughts that hurt them. When that person was only saying what they thought was right, so why can’t we talk and find the middle ground? This is how marriages work, two people come together with two completely different views or normal and expect the other person to bow to them and their normal, when actually you were meant to both, together, build your own normal. Iron sharpens Iron and faithful are the wounds of a friend!

You always have to have the thoughts going through your head,’ why do I trust them…because they have my best interests in mind!’ and ‘What do they really mean by this’, when you start to feel affected or offended.

The other problem is we always believe in ourselves and always think we are right! So when someone comes in and says hey, i don’t totally agree...so what! You have to realise that this person you have put your trust in to is actually a person who has the best for you...that is why you gave them trust in the first place, remember?

I understand that this blog is a lot of ideas and questions that have arisen in my life just poured out over the screen. But my point is, we so easily break trust bonds, friendships, love and hearts because we react to someone trying to speak in to our lives and help us.

Trust can’t be earned, only given.

How are we good judges of when it’s right to trust someone when in their own minds they are only trying to help us.

Communication doesn’t mean you getting your way, it means finding the middle ground where you have both compromised for the benefit of all.

Trust means, you give someone the ability to hurt you for your own good!